Are You A Nice Guy Who Cant Find Ms Right?
Many women–and men–have heard of or maybe even read the book The Rules. I found it helpful and interesting when I was back out in the dating world a few years ago, though didn’t follow every rule to the T and thought some of the advice was a bit shallow. However, it did offer some great tips on keeping a man really interested and not making the typical mistakes women usually do–sitting by the phone, smothering the guy, etc.
What about nice guys though? As a professional psychic counselor I’ve read for many perfectly wonderful men over the years who simply couldn’t make it past date number one. I want to share a recent email I sent to a client so guys can get an inside view of what to do and what not to do when out in the dating world.
This is my side of the conversation and my advice to him:
Honestly, I don’t think you should have gotten her a gift. You’ve only been out a couple of times and she hasn’t returned your last several emails, phone calls, or texts. I know you’re a nice guy. I think the way the world operates is weird at times, but there are certain “rules” people seem to follow. I’ll get to that in a minute.
Nice people have your same problem a lot. For example, my oldest daughter has a friend who’s 28. She’s fun, outgoing, and guys love her for the first date but then they back WAY off. She’s very depressed about this. It never fails that each and every time she goes out with a guy she gets into him too fast. She calls and texts several times just after the first date. People need to get to know one another first and jumping right into things gives the impression that you’re desperate and clingy. People feel smothered and want to run away. Make sense?
I talked to my current boyfriend via email for three months before I agreed to go out with him. We talked on the phone five times before our first date. Even after our first date we only talked on the phone a few times a week. We dated about ten times before we had sex. See how slow it went? That’s how real love got to build up. We’ve been together for three years now. You really can’t love or know someone right away. But when you’re the type of person who has so much love to give it’s easy to give it to anyone–whether they deserve it or not and whether they’re right for you or not. See what I mean?
I know you’re trying to stay positive, but it really seems like she’s fading fast and it’s time to move on. Don’t you think?
Remember when you said how when you’re in a relationship suddenly all of these other women are interested in you? The reason for this is you aren’t giving out that, “I NEED A WOMAN!” vibe. You act like you don’t care, because you don’t. When we want something too much, we actually send out energy that repels it. It’s like people who have money problems. They’re desperate for money and look everywhere they can for it but they never do find it and in fact have more and more money problems! It’s the same way with love. If you’re clinging onto something too much, the universe doesn’t have room to move and help you because we’re so focused on that ONE goal when in reality so many other alternatives exist.
Say for example you’re all focused on this one girl, you put all your energy into her even if she doesn’t seem that into you, and there’s a really great girl around who would love to be with you. How could you even see the other girl when you’ve got this laser beam focus on the other person–and you aren’t even sure where things are going?!
Keep this rule of thumb in mind because as a woman I can tell you this is how the real world works. If you see a girl you like, ask her for her number. If she gives it to you wait 24 hours to call her. If she’s “busy” or doesn’t answer, try again in 24-48 hours. If you get the same runaround, let it go. She’s not interested, plain and simple. That will save you A LOT of time and wondering and worrying. Two phone calls and that’s it, then move on.
Let me know what you think…
Dr. Kelly
Kelly Wallace is a certified counselor, multi-published author, teacher, speaker, radio show host, self-proclaimed workaholic, single mother of five daughters, and a professional psychic who reads for over one thousand clients per year. She is also the host of weekly radio show The Psychic View and regular guest and psychic writer for WPRT Paranormal Radio.
www.ThePsychicSoul.com
http://www.WPRTradio.com
Tags: dating, men, soul mates, Dr. Kelly