When Did I Become Invisible?
I had a million things going on at once and could handle them all - sometimes with a little assistance. I was a Congressman’s wife, for goodness sakes, and was busy doing Congressman’s wife things. I was written about in books, put on the cover of a magazine, invited to speak all over the country, wrote a book, raised two sons, and had lots of “friends.” I was thin and I looked good.
When an election defeat ended those days, I was still busy raising children, driving carpools, and being involved in many things. I was known. I was seen.
My boys graduated from high school and life began to slow down just a bit. Weight was beginning to be a problem, but with a lot of exercise and calorie counting I stayed somewhat in control. I started my own business, spoke at various groups and was active in a number of organizations. When I went to a store I almost always saw someone I knew. I was known and I was seen.
As the years went by other significant changes took place. The marriage ended. I sold my business and learned hypnotherapy. I worked at a clinic for a year and then started my own hypnotherapy practice. I was sedentary. Pounds went on. Hair got gray (only my hairdresser knows that for sure, though). I was less active in the community. My mother was approaching ninety and I needed more and more to be at home with her.
Sometime after the big 70 rolled around, I began to realize that when I went to a store, clerks didn’t rush to help me. In fact sometimes they acted like they didn’t even see me. At the health club I was totally ignored - I guess because I wasn’t a mini-size wearing a thong. (And I will never go back to Ballys). The other day I was in a local upscale department store and was the only one shopping in that department. The clerk ignored me entirely. To her, I wasn’t there.
I’m a rather friendly sort of person, not at all hesitant to smile at and speak to a stranger. They used to acknowledge me and smile back most of the time. Now, they just look straight ahead.
When did this happen? When did I become invisible? Is there no value to some one who has put on weight, gotten gray and walks a little slower?
What do I do about it?
I’m formulating my plan I know I need to get out and about more. I’ve joined a gym just for women and I plan to go there on a regular basis. There are no thongs there and everyone is friendly. So, already I’m more visible. This is a first step and there will be more. I post to 20 blogs every day because my son is a blog developer and I help him by getting the clients started and posting to the blogs he is waiting to sell. Now I have my own blog – http://www.theselfimprovementblog.com. This helps keep my brain working and my thinking younger. I’m thinking about joining a meditation group and maybe dusting off my public speaking abilities.
I’ll let you know. Just because I’m “more mature” doesn’t mean I’m ready to be put on the shelf and now that I’m aware of my invisibility there is only one person who can do anything about it – me. If there are any more of you who have become invisible, let me know. I’d love to hear from you.
Irene Conlan has a masters degree in nursing, a doctoral degree in metaphysics, is a certified hypnothrapist and an ordained minister. she practices holistic hypnotherapy and officiates at weddings in Scottsdale, AZ. Irene can be found at http://www.theselfimprovementblog.com
Tags: blog, exercise, growing old, mature, weight